Being very much who I am

Chalk it up to the New Year and the exciting things happening in my life (more on that later), but I’ve been thinking a lot about my career thus far as I work on on plans the next stage. This, of course, leads me to both face past mistakes and reminisce on the highlights. Over the course of 15 years as a journalist, I covered a wildly diverse mix of subjects—from welfare moms in West Virginia trailer parks, to haute couture shows at the Chanel townhouse in Paris. When considering this myriad of stories and people, my favorite—hands down—was one I did on Diane von Furstenberg when she launched a fine jewelry line several years ago.

Sure, her stature as one of the most famous female fashion designers in history was alluring, as was the location (her private office in New York’s Meatpacking District... yes, that's a shot we took beside her famous Warhol prints). But what makes it my favorite was how inspiring I found Diane herself. How can you not be charmed by a woman who, at the pinnacle of her success in the international fashion arena, pads into her office barefoot to meet the reporter and ask for input on what she should wear? A woman who—fittingly—prominently displays a small Wonder Woman statue in her office? A woman whose life story is an ode to faith in second chances.

After arriving in New York on the arm of a prince, becoming a society darling and building a fashion empire in the 1970s, Diane watched her marriage fall apart and her empire crumble into financial ruin. She retreated for a while, regrouped, dabbled in other areas, learned from her mistakes; then launched her current fashion label in 1997. From there, it’s been nowhere but up.

Diane’s confidence in her career and comfort in her own skin struck me when I met her but, being personally on the heels of my own short-lived and disastrous marriage that led to my own flight from New York, confidence and comfort seemed very foreign, unattainable things to me at the time. Today, however, I finally have them locked in my sights as I head into 2012.

Regarding her re-emergence in the 1990s, Diane once told the New York Times: "This time around I decided I was going to be very much who I really am."

Ditto that.

All fired up

When I was little, red was my favorite color. I always had to have the red piece when playing a board game; Scarlet and Torch Red were always the first Crayola crayons to wear out, and I loved it when my grandmother wore her signature ruby jewelry. As a fiery, strong-willed (aka stubborn) little girl, everyone said the color suited me perfectly.

In the decades since then--without ever really thinking about it--my color of choice went from passionate red to lullabye blue. I suppose being told several thousand times as a child that redheads don't look good wearing red played a part, along with having a March birthstone (aquamarine), and having dozens of designers and stylists tell me that blue complimented my eyes.

Today, a quick inventory of my closet shows one lonely red item: a pair of red croc stiletto boots that I bought in Brazil 10 years ago and have worn exactly one and a half times (the half being a night in New York when I bought cheap flip flops for my aching feet and carried the boots home). My jewelry box, meanwhile, has just one red gemstone: my grandmother's emerald-cut ruby ring that I recently inherited.

Last night, I gently tried on grandma's ring (at right; in desperate need of cleaning and resetting), and the surprising pop of the rich red ruby against my skin got me to thinking about colors, gemstones, and their meaning in our lives. Red, afterall, represents passion, fire, energy and determination; words that describe--for better or for worse--my inherent personality. The legendary stone of kings, rubies are said to radiate warmth and vitality and express powerful feelings. Blue, on the other hand, is associated with the opposite: tranquility and calmness. Aquamarine--the stone of the mermaids--arouses gentle feelings like sympathy, harmony, and friendship.

Fittingly, then, grandma's ruby is making me realize that, just as I've banished red from my wardrobe all these years at the advice of others, I've been suppressing the fiery parts of my true personality that made red suit me so well. And, while there's much to be said for infusing life with a little tranquility or blue gemstones, letting one's natural passion flame is a beautiful thing. So, watch for me in 2012... I'll be the one all fired up and wearing rubies.